


Held Breath

by theunknownfate



Category: Watchmen - All Media Types
Genre: First Time, Hand Jobs, Kinkmeme, M/M, Prompt Fill, Riding, Shower Sex, hygiene, or lack thereof
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-09
Updated: 2014-08-23
Packaged: 2018-02-12 09:38:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,420
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2104848
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theunknownfate/pseuds/theunknownfate
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for the kinkmeme. The prompt was for Rorschach's hygiene to be a problem, but Dan perseveres. He's wanted his partner for long enough that some unwashedness isn't going to stop him. Is it?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

“Breathing funny.”

“I’m out of shape.” 

It wasn’t a lie, but Rorschach’s eyes still narrowed at him. Frantic not to lose any ground now, of all times, Dan leaned close enough for their noses to touch, still trying desperately to breath through his mouth. “And… I’m kind of nervous… I didn’t think you would ever-”

“Don’t-” Rorschach’s grimace had him ducking away from Dan’s eyes. “Can’t. Talk about it.” Dan ran a hand up the back of his neck to comfort him, forcing himself not to tense as grit and old skin rolled under his fingertips. “Hard enough just to feel it.” Rorschach mumbled into his chest. The smell from behind his ears was like really bad cheese and the urge to kiss one shriveled up in horror. 

_Do not flinch from him_ , Dan warned himself. _He has finally reached out for something that isn’t a weapon and you have been waiting for this for years and he’s fighting back enough self-loathing to kill three normal people and if he even suspects that your eyes are not watering from emotion, he will be ten times more hurt and embarrassed and he’ll have just enough strength to tear off your head before he dies of shame. And I will not do that to him, I will not._

“Was a joke, Daniel.” Rorschach whispered. He peeked up at him, eyes the only part of him without visible grime. 

“Wh-what?” Dan was caught off guard. His mind scrambled to remember the last thing Rorschach had said, and then felt himself blush as a slim thigh pressed close enough to remind him what _was_ hard enough to feel. “Oh my God…” He had never in a million years expected this. Rorschach was coming on to him. The back files of ten years of fantasies still left him unprepared for that. The same disbelief was in Rorschach’s face. He couldn’t believe he was doing this either. He went up on his tiptoes to brush a demure kiss against the corner of Dan’s mouth, losing all chaste points as it brought their bodies into full contact.

Dan made a sound he hoped wasn’t too choked off. His arms wrapped around the slim body of their own accord, but Rorschach’s breath was as intimidating as the rest of him. _I am going to need a tetanus shot after this_ , whispered some part of his brain that needed a mental kick. It didn’t matter. He was going to have to do it. Rorschach had given him more than he had probably ever given anybody and he wasn’t going to let him feel for a moment that it wasn’t cherished, even if Dan’s nose was stinging and his stomach had tightened, and keeping his face from squinching up was taking most of his spare concentration. 

He took a nice deep breath and covered Rorschach’s mouth with his. It tasted like it smelled and he prayed the ‘ngh!’ that wriggled out of him would be interpreted as desire instead of disgust. Rorschach whimpered too, pressing even closer. Dan was doing his best, but at this range, he was sure the stink was up his nose now, and he couldn’t breath because he was up to his tonsils in a clumsy kiss that tasted like a backed up sink drain. There was a missing tooth there and the pit where it should’ve been was even more dank and foul than the rest. 

_I can’t do this!_ Dan thought, panicking. The whole thing felt like a Pepe Le Pew episode. Was he really going to let a little thing like breathing stand in the way of what he had longed for? _I can’t let this chance slip away either. Good God, when was the last time he brushed his teeth?? Or washed his neck? There’s gotta be away to make this work. Make it bearable._

He slid his hands up Rorschach’s sides, feeling another queasy lurch when he felt how stiff the fabric under his arms was. Weeks and maybe months of sweat were dried there, feeling almost crunchy. Maybe the coat wasn’t even originally brown. God. What would fix this that wouldn’t hurt Rorschach’s feelings? _Think, think…!_

“Hey,” he gasped, breaking the kiss. He was panting again. “Let’s… let’s do this right.”

“Think,” Rorschach was breathing hard too. The look of uncertainty on his face was heartbreaking. “This is wrong?” 

“No!” Dan’s voice was all sincerity and his grip tightened under Rorschach’s arms. “I’ve wanted this too long to- I just thought maybe…” He took a breath and found a hopeful smile. “Have you ever been skinny-dipping?”


	2. Chapter 2

Rorschach blinked. Dan could practically see the gears turning behind his eyes while he processed that question. Was that slight head tilt the beginning of suspicion? Oh God…

“We don’t have to!” Dan scrambled to keep him close, even if meant leaning back into the unwashed miasma “It’s just something I’ve… thought about.” 

“Want more than this?” Rorschach’s voice was hushed. There might’ve been hope there, or even a very veiled threat. Did he mean more than just fumbling in the dark or was it an accusation that Dan didn’t think he was good enough as is? Dan decided not to take chances. He cupped Rorschach’s face in his hands, aiming the septic breath back into his own face. 

“This,” he said slowly. “Is more than I imagined we would ever have. And I have imagined a lot.” The only thing possible to do next was kiss him. That much had to happen. Dan couldn’t quite bring himself to taste again, so it stayed gentle, all lips with no pressure. Maybe if he just buried his face in the stink, he would get used to it. Maybe if he threw up all over him, would Rorschach finally agree to do some laundry. 

Rorschach moved like a striking snake and hooked an elbow around Dan’s neck. The movement released another cloud of body odor that made Dan gag despite his resolve. Rorschach was too busy dragging Dan down to sink those uneven teeth into his neck to notice.

_Tetanus shot!_ screamed the back of his mind again, but he barely even heard that over his own gasp. The sudden pain sent a blaze of heat straight to his erection. How was it possible to be so close to puking and still so turned on?? Every part of him except for that contrary hard on would’ve run for the hills. All five senses had alarms blaring, so it had to be some perverse seventh one that made him grind against Rorschach and pin him against the stair railing.

He heard himself gasp out a sputtering plea. He could barely breathe. If only he had been in costume when this started. The cowl might not have blocked all the smell, but it would’ve helped. His gloves would’ve kept him from being so aware of the greasy grit under his fingernails as he ran a hand into his partner’s hair. He might be able to enjoy the hungry mouth on his skin if the wet trail it was leaving down his throat didn’t remind him of the water at the bottom of dumpsters. 

That thought did make him heave. The movement rocked him hard against Rorschach, who moaned. Dan fought the nausea back, swallowing hard, and then gasping as cold gloves were suddenly inside his clothes. He felt particles of something scrape off them against his skin, remnants of sugar cubes, he prayed, but more likely old dried blood or just solid chunks of encrusted filth. He was clinging to the rail instead of Rorschach now, their legs tangling as Rorschach half-climbed up his hips for more contact. 

_I can’t do this_ , he thought wildly. _I can’t breathe, can barely stomach the taste of him and he feels like he rolled in something like a wild dog before he came over here. If I can just get away from him for just a minute to regroup but I can’t! He’s- and it’s- and I-_

“Daniel,” whined Rorschach, cutting through his cringing thoughts. He was shaking, faltering between trying to touch Dan and trying to give himself some relief and not quite knowing what to do for either. Another bolt of heat went through Dan at seeing him so helpless, followed quickly by shame for wanting to get so far away from just a moment before. 

_Just going to have to man up and deal with it_ , he thought. _Maybe he’ll want a scrub if he gets all sticky first._ It was a hopeful thought. Maybe a good portion of the funk was in his clothes and without them, he would be bearable. _Still filthy though_ , the errant thought piped up again, _sweat and filth and garbage collected in creases of skin and coating him like jellyfish slime._

“Daniel!” There was a sob of desperation in the mix now. There wasn’t time for seductive undressing. Dan let go of the rail and grappled with the belt and button of Rorschach’s pants. He didn’t even want to think about the state of underwear. He was not going to throw up, _he was not, he was not, he was not._

He shoved his hand into the waistband, rougher than he intended to be, but dammit, he was running out of air. 

The sound Rorschach made then was too high-pitched, like a bird cry, and Dan felt his heart squeeze. This should’ve been gentler, more special, it was their first time after all. He shouldn’t be in such a hurry to get it over with to get to the awkward clean-up afterwards. He shouldn’t be grimly jacking his convulsing partner off while pretending he didn’t feel coarse hair and crusty underwear. He shouldn’t be praying Rorschach came before he ran out of the breath he was holding.


	3. Chapter 3

It didn’t take long. Rorschach spasmed hard. Dan felt the hot gush over his hand and against his stomach. He wrapped his other arm around Rorschach as he slumped. He could taste the smell in the air now and grimaced. Time for those clothes to come off. He set Rorschach back against the railing and started pulling his coat off. Dazed eyes refocused on him and Dan pressed a kiss to his mouth. 

“You’re still-” Rorschach said faintly. He looked down where their bodies were still pressed close. “You didn’t-”

“Soon,” Dan promised. He was shaking as hard as Rorschach was. His fingers fumbled at the shirt buttons now. “Just get this off. Heh.”

“You,” Rorschach shook his head like he was trying to clear it. “You didn’t feel it?”

“I felt plenty! Let’s just-” Dan stripped him down to an undershirt which was nowhere near white and started on the pants. Rorschach pulled away. 

“Stop. Enough.” He squirmed free, still unsteady, leaving Dan grasping at empty space. 

“W-what?” Dan felt his chest squeeze again, this time in dismay. 

“Done enough.” 

“But- I thought you wanted-”

“Pity?” Rorschach was holding his unbuttoned pants closed with his fists. “No.”

“Pity??” Dan’s voice went a little higher with disbelief. “How could you possibly think-?” Then it clicked. Rorschach thought it hadn’t been mutual. He thought Dan had just gotten him off out of pity and had no desire for him and that was why he hadn’t come all over himself. 

“Th-that’s not it!” He hurried over, arms held out. “I swear!" But Rorschach jerked away. He was flushed under the grime, hurt, probably embarrassed, and certainly angry. “Please don’t do this! Look at me!” He gestured sheepishly at his own tented pants. “Do I really look like I don’t want you??”

Rorschach refused to even glance at him. He was breathing heavily through his nose which Dan envied for a moment. 

“Please,” Dan tried again. “Just let me-”

“Let you do enough,” Rorschach mumbled. “Should go.“ Dan’s arms fell back to his sides. He couldn’t think of anything to say. He covered his eyes with a hand and the smell clinging to it made him drop it again. He probably stank to high heaven himself now.

“Jesus,” he whispered. He couldn’t win. “Look, you can’t leave with your clothes like that. Not without everyone knowing. You can use the machines down here. Detergent’s there. Everything’s there. I’ll leave you alone. I’m going to take a shower.”

He started up the stairs, still uncomfortably hard and even more uncomfortably aware of the eyes following him. He went straight to his bathroom, getting in as quickly as he could undress. How many times had he fled to this shower to let cold water beat his arousal out of him after patrols or especially tangible dreams? And this time he had the memory of Rorschach’s head thrown back and the need in his voice and the feel of a leg hooking over his hip and-

“Oh, God,” he moaned, bowing his head under the spray. He pressed his hands to the tile. He could still smell the lingering funk on his hands and arms so he reached for the shampoo. It was sandalwood, not overpowering, but a heavenly relief after what he had just put his olfactory system through. He scrubbed it into his hair and then used it to lather up the rest of him, over-sensitized enough to whimper at his own touch. 

The water suddenly blasted cold, making him squeak. Ah, the washing machine was on. At least Rorschach's clothes would be clean next time. If there was a next time. 

_No. He wanted me. He did. He admitted it first. If he’ll give me another chance, I’ll prove it’s mutual. I’ll-_

The bathroom door came open with vibrating thud, making him jump. A waft of now-familiar smell drifted in, and a silhouette appeared on the shower curtain. 

“Daniel?” The voice was hesitant. “Can come in?”

“You are in,” Dan said. “Close the door.” There was a pause, and he heard it click back into place. The curtain was pulled back enough for Rorschach to see him. Dan was past caring how ridiculous he looked, covered in bubbles, and still sporting obvious arousal. Rorschach took it in without comment, and Dan realized after a moment that he was naked too. He had walked through the whole house buck naked to find him? That was out of character. And… promising.


	4. Chapter 4

“Do… you want to join me?” Dan asked, a little too hopefully. Rorschach hesitated, then carefully stepped into the tub. 

“Here.” Dan maneuvered him under the spray, which was finally starting to warm up a little bit again. Rorschach shivered under it anyway, hunching his shoulders. He looked like he was being interrogated, squinting into the water instead of a bright light. He was speckled over with freckles, light acne and some definite blackheads, lined with scars, and shadowed with pockets of grime in the creases of skin around the planes of muscle. Dan started to lather up his hair without even asking. Rorschach cringed under his hands but didn’t pull away.

“Behaved badly,” he said. The lather in his hair turned gray quickly. “Sorry, Daniel.”

“Close your eyes,” Dan said, tilting his head back just to be safe. Rivulets of grime ran down his neck and shoulders and seeing him arched like that made Dan press up close to him again. More shampoo rubbed into his neck and shoulders fought the smell, and the oily residue coating him started to wash away. He squirmed when the rubbing moved to his armpits and Dan ignored the rerelease of body odor to kiss his jaw. 

“Should’ve realized,” Rorschach gasped as soapy hands dragged across his chest. He didn‘t seem to know exactly what to do with his own. They fluttered over Dan‘s arms and shoulders. “Didn’t. Wanted.”

“Me too!” Dan insisted, returning the bite to his neck. His ran his hands over Rorschach’s back and felt only the ridges of spine and scars. 

“No. Wanted with you. Not. Not serviced.” Like a whore. It stayed unspoken, but maybe only because Dan’s feverish lathering and scrubbing was now working its way down his stomach.

“That’s my fault,” Dan mumbled. He was more relieved than he would ever say that there didn’t seem to be anything alive skittering around Rorschach’s body, and his fingers combed shampoo through the red hair as gently as he could. “You were just so close, and so hot, and I couldn’t breathe, and I just wanted to see you let go, you know?”

“Nnck.” Rorschach’s head thudded up against the shower tile. “Doing it again! Un- unnecessary.” 

“Like hell,“ Dan gasped. “Sugar’s unnecessary too, but it, it makes things, mph, better.“ The water around their feet was turning black and Dan knelt in it to pay special attention to any nooks and crannies. He used his fingers, slipping in and under, stroking and rubbing until all he could feel was water-slick skin. The collective stink was mixing with the sandalwood. He wasn’t going to be able to use it again if he couldn‘t shake that association. Rorschach’s knees buckled at the attention. Dan caught them and braced them against his chest, and leaned forward to run his tongue up the now-clean abs. Rorschach made that too-high sound again, hips bucking up against Dan’s throat. 

“Don’t,” he begged. “I can’t. Just don’t.” Was he really trying to hold out to share it with Dan this time? Dan considered just letting the legs and feet go dirty awhile longer, but this might be the only chance he got. Still on his knees, he ran handfuls of water up and down them. Streaks of black ran over his fingers, and the drain gurgled its protest. 

“Ok,” he promised. “Ok. I’m almost- I just-” But Rorschach was sliding down to kneel with him, hands and mouth everywhere, almost knocking him backwards in the tub. Yeah, ok. That was about as much as Dan could stand too. He was throbbing so hard he was surprised the window wasn’t bowing with the pressure. Rorschach’s kiss still tasted a lot like road kill, but the nose-full of sandalwood was helping override other things. Dan moved them around, pressing Rorschach down against the back of the tub and straddling him the best he could in the small space. The cold surface against his back made it arch and Dan groaned, fumbling for the shampoo bottle again. 

He poured it over Rorschach’s erection and slicked it with his hand. This was going to hurt and the shampoo was going to burn, but it didn’t matter, not with the way Rorschach wasn’t able to keep still and was still trying to talk and get in his way trying to reciprocate. It would probably unnerve him all over again to hear what Dan had in mind and Dan didn’t think he could stand to be pushed away again. 

So without explanation, he positioned himself and lowered down as quickly as he could stand to, impaling himself. Rorschach roared under him, bucking again, driving the last inches all the way in. Dan felt a vibration in his throat that probably meant he was screaming too, but the blast of sensation every other movement was sending through him drowned out his own noise. It did hurt, it did burn, made him hiss and groan, but the thought of stopping wasn’t even an option. 

“Hurting you!” Rorschach wailed, squeezing his eyes shut and then fluttering open again. 

“You’re not!” Dan gasped back, even as his face contorted. “You’re not, you’re not, you’re not.” It was a mindless chant to keep time with the rhythm their bodies were finding without them. Rorschach’s hands clawed down his chest and sides, finally digging into his hips. Dan wasn’t aware of the water beating on his back anymore, or the uncomfortable angle his knee was at against the side of the tub. Rorschach was wide-eyed and open-mouthed, forcing out Dan’s name in a rough whisper. Their foreheads were lightly bumping as they moved. 

“Golden,” Rorschach gasped. Dan was dimly aware of the wonder in his voice, but was too far gone to process the word. Rorschach wrapped around him tightly, not letting him pull back for the next thrust. His teeth sank in again, Dan’s shoulder this time, and they rocked together twice before Dan shattered. His whole body slammed and watching him go broke any hope Rorschach had of holding out. Fingernails and teeth drew blood. Their voices clashed without any of their bodies’ harmony, and it was only when the water went completely cold that it occurred to either of them to move.


End file.
